complete freedom

I'm writing this down because I don't want to forget the feeling of complete freedom I had today, nor how I got there. Over the last couple days, I listened to a podcast, Zencast 103, titled "Nothing Worth Clinging To." It's the same message of non-attachment that Buddhists repeat all the time, but this time it really got me. I began thinking about my own life, and all these decisions that are going to be made in the near future, and I realized that it doesn't matter what the outcome is. None of the possible outcomes is worth the stress of worrying about. Life is too short and the cost is too high.

The other thing I realized is that I have the freedom to completely be myself. The cost of potential rejection/disapproval from others is nothing compared to the lifelong cost of submerging myself into what others expect of me. I don't need validation from others; seeking it is what causes suffering. Meanwhile, I do injustice both to myself and others by concealing my real self.

There is nothing stopping me but me. I am completely free to love and live. I am completely free to be me.