Sometimes life seems to ask me for too much. It finds the one thing I feel I can't bear to be without, and rips it away from me. I suppose this is some sort of karmic lesson in non-attachment, and I suppose this is finally my opportunity to learn it. It's definitely been a long time coming.

"Letting go" sounds so peaceful, like dropping a leaf into a placid pool, but in reality it's as if someone were tearing your limbs from you. You may have no choice, but that doesn't make it pleasant.

I have tried over the past several weeks to expand my mind to accept any possibility, any outcome, and I thought I was somewhat prepared, but I wasn't. The inevitable still comes as a shock. I'm cold and dead inside, like someone forgot to turn on the lights this morning.

I suppose I am looking to "what's next," looking for an answer as to what I should do or say. Looking for the piece of tape that will patch together the situation, however temporarily.

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