(Almost) Married, Not Dead

village voice > people > Married, Not Dead by Nora Shelley:

"Every night is like a standoff. I read in bed until I'm sure he's sleeping. He stays in his office surfing the Net until he's sure I'm sleeping. And then if we accidentally touch each other, we panic. The tension just builds and builds because you know you're going to have to do it soon, and you're afraid to. Afraid it's going to suck. Afraid you won't remember how."

Boy do I know this feeling. It's like a cowboy movie, where you're waiting to see who will make the first move towards their gun, and the tension is unbearable. It's soooo tempting to just take care of any urges myself, and forgo the awkwardness (or worse, possible rejection).